The Blahhhhs!

What is it about losing weight that makes you begin to feel good about yourself and at the same time start to notice even more imperfections than you were aware of before?

I don't get it.

Lately, I'm definitely feeling like the amount of weight loss so far, while good, is just not good enough. I'm having a difficult time appreciating where I am vs. where I was and where I want to be.

I feel like my head is too small for the rest of my body... which may seem silly, but is still annoying.

You know what else is really wild? The amount of pain a person will go through in order to "look better." You know what my ultimate goal is here? To lose all the weight I want to lose, get down to my ideal weight and go in for a tummy tuck (all that loose skin from three pregnancies), liposuction, breast reduction and lift. So, after all the sweat and deprivation - I'm then planning on slicing and dicing as a REWARD. Can you believe it? Nuts, isn't it?

Well, I got up this morning and broke my own rule. My wedding ring was a little tight, I know I didn't drink enough water yesterday and I'm paying for it. I got on the scale and it leveled out at 170... annoying to say the least. 170 was like this barrier that I emotionally felt I needed to go beyond. I'm trying not to get discouraged...

Finally!!!

The scale is starting to go down... finally!

I'm so thrilled! I weighed myself at least 4 times this morning because I almost couldn't believe what I was seeing. LOL

I'm inching closer and closer to my end of June goal, which was to lose 20 pounds. My ultimate goal is 40 pounds and if you look at the ticker below... I'm getting closer to that as well!

Raves and Rants...

Over the past week or so, I've noticed that my husband is now getting pretty serious about getting down to his goal weight too. A few years ago he lost about 50 pounds and has managed to keep it off. But, he still wants to lose another 20. I guess I've inspired him a bit.

If the truth were to be told, we have dieted many times together in the past. We did the Weight Watchers point system. Neither one of us lost anything, for my part, I realize now that IR had a lot to do with that.

When we tried Atkins he lost and so did I for a while. The thing with my husband is that he created a lot of good habits with Atkins that he stuck with, so he kept the 50 off, but he didn't stay strict with it, so he maintained but didn't lose anymore. I, on the other hand, ended up getting pregnant with our third child and before I knew I was pregnant, began getting frustrated because I wasn't losing weight (had dropped almost 20 pounds), my husband got frustrated with me because he felt I was sabotaging myself. I had begun craving carbs and sweets non-stop and nearly uncontrollably. Then we found out that I was pregnant.

Anyway, this time, I've stuck with it for a month, I've lost 13 pounds and I think that has inspired him a bit. It's nice to feel like I'm encouraging someone else for a change.

My mom is really starting to peel the weight off as well. She's already dropped a size. She was smaller than I was to begin with - but she is dealing with a lot of stress, plus she is post-hysterectomy and has a problem with IR as well. She's following the diet information from the Suzanne Sommers (sp.) book - "The Sexy Years." It's amazing how much hormones DO affect our ability to lose and gain weight.

I was listening to Dr. Laura the other day... mainly because sometimes I enjoy screaming at her while I am driving. She made some absolutely STUPID comment about people using hormones as an excuse to be fat... she stated (as proof of her point) that when people were put into concentration camps they came out skinny. Well, DUH, dipstick, if you STARVE anyone LONG enough they will LOSE weight. So I suppose that people who are overweight should just be locked up and starved? Does Dr. Laura think those people came out of the concentration camps HEALTHIER too???? For someone who is supposedly "educated" it amazes me what stupid things will come out of this woman's mouth.

There is my complaint for the day... I'll step off my soapbox now. ;o)

Resistance Wearing Down...

I'm resisting the urge to go into the kitchen and absolutely gorge myself on anything with chocolate. So far... so good.

Today started off quite well. I'm actually down another pound! I worked out...

I've had reservations at the beach for a couple of months now for this weekend. I got a killer deal on the rates and have really been looking forward to this trip. I could really use the time away. Yesterday, we had something come up and I had to cancel the reservations. Today, I found out that we could go after all... only now, there is no way to reclaim the lost reservation.

Oh well... s*#$! happens.

Bread-Fest... Breakfast? Waste... Waist?

I was telling my husband last night that I have managed to stock up on easy things to grab and eat when I need a quick snack, all low carb, of course. Still, even though I have purchased things to curb the occasional sweet tooth (sugar-free candy, sugar-free pudding cups, etc.) it's not the chocolate that calls to me...

Last night I really wanted a sweet potato. Of course, it's not as easy as that, either. My version of a sweet potato is baked in the skin, dripping with real butter, sprinkled with cinnamon and brown sugar. It's the perfect side dish for so many meals. I miss them... I really do.

Tonight I am making steaks topped with bleu cheese (I would have preferred gorgonzola, but bleu will deu... LOL) steamed broccoli (which I actually love) and that's probably about it for my meal. I might make the kids some mashed potatoes on the side... which I will behave myself around, I promise.

I'm really bad because I actually had a dream last night about biscuits and gravy. I'm a closet country girl at heart (as corny as that sounds) my grandma was from Oklahoma, my grandfather from Missouri and between the two of them I enjoyed some killer country cuisine. Biscuits and gravy, chicken and dumplings, chicken fried steak (which is one of my all-time favorite breakfasts) cornbread and buttermilk. Oh yeah... all the country comfort I can't have now. And, let me tell you... I make KILLER biscuits - from S-C-R-A-T-C-H.
Ahhhh... so sad to see such talent go to waist... er... waste. ;o)

Actually, my husband and I stopped eating the bread-fest a couple of years ago... it wasn't easy. Sugar has always been my biggest enemy, though. I'm a chocolate addict... anything double layer, extra dark, gooey, fudgy, syrupy... and I am there with bells on.

It's funny because now that I'm not having all the chocolate desserty stuff... I'm really wishing I could go back to bread-fest. LOL

Doing well today, though. My water intake is up, my carb intake is way down. Just waiting for that scale to kick-in and catch up with the inches I've lost...

Losing My Rear...

Butt and gut - I think these have got to be the top two worries women have about their physical appearance. I worried that my rear was getting wider, flatter, and dropping. I kept having this fear that I was going to reach around to shave the back of my knee and nic my rear-end.

The good news is that the rear is rising and shrinking! Yippee! The work is paying off. And, deep down I am really beginning to enjoy working out. I never thought I would say that. I really didn't. As a general rule I deeply dislike 95% of the things that might cause me to break a sweat. I just don't care for being sweaty and sticky.

Don't get me wrong, I've always enjoyed the occasional Yoga workout, but hopping and jumping around for an aerobic workout is just never going to be my thing.

I'm still plugging away at least 5 days a week on the Total Gym and have now added a daily Pilates workout as well. My rear is definitely on the rise and you can't imagine how thrilled I am.

This morning I was at my mom's house and she pulled a picture out from a couple of months ago, in the picture I just happened to be wearing the same capris I'm wearing today and the difference was... well... shocking. Two months ago these pants were almost too small and were extremely tight around my hips, waist, and rear. Now, they are bagging and sagging in all those places, they are loose and comfy.

My mom said that my 13 year-old brother even mentioned how much weight I was losing. I just wish the dreaded bathroom scale would reflect this as well. I'm really trying to pay attention to how my clothes are fitting instead of what the numbers read. But, it's frustrating when you really want to see the scale DROP.

Yesterday, my daughter had an awards luncheon for maintaining a 4.0 GPA for at least 3 quarters. The luncheon was held at a local restaurant that serves all the usual country-fare buffet style. Fried chicken, rice, pasta salad, jello with whip cream, and big squishy rolls. I held my ground and opted for a salad (not pasta!) with shredded beef and a pile of fresh green beans with chunks of mushroom and bacon. I was really proud of myself. In years past, while dieting I always saw a restaurant as a "special occasion" to fudge. Not anymore... I'm learning to make better choices and I'm learning I can fudge here and there and it doesn't mean that I have trashed my diet.

Today I've already downed 25oz. of water, I had a sugar-free coffee with cream from Starbucks, eggs and sausage. For a snack I had a couple of sticks of string cheese and some raw almonds. I worked out this morning and tried to add an extra set of everything. This afternoon I'll do a Pilates workout.

When I started doing this I was a tight fitting size 14... now the 14's are loose and I can fit into a 12. I've had an issue with a rather large bust for several years now, relegating me to x-large tops and severely restricting my wardrobe. My x-large t-shirts are now fitting loosely, I have a waist again and my bust has shrunk. I'd love to get back to a C-cup. That would be great.

When I get ALL the weight off... I think I am seriously going to consider liposuction, breast reduction, and a tummy tuck.

Yep... that's right, I'm still sitting at 174, but I can tell I've lost inches. Just wish the scale would TELL as well.

Getting Better...

Another weekend filled with temptation. I've decided that I am not going to suffer or deprive myself. I'm very good all week long, when I get really desperate I opt for a lowcarb-friendly ice cream bar (they are really good). I try not to find excuses to deviate from my plan - but stuff happens. Mother's Day is a prime example, I stuck with ice tea or Crystal Light lemonade, we had home-made shredded beef tacos, I allowed myself one corn tortilla. Then came dessert and my darling son (who has been taking a cooking class in junior high) made Snicker Doodles from scratch. They were wonderful. Then there was a double layer chocolate cake with fudge frosting, I admit, I'm terrible because I made the silly thing in honor of Mother's Day. It was very good!

So, I'm "back on the wagon" now and doing very well. I'm down another pound and feeling much better today than I did over the weekend. I am working on getting more water down... I've slacked off a bit lately because the weather has cooled off a bit and it makes it harder for me to drink a lot of water, isn't that stupid?

I firmly believe that things are as easy or as difficult as you choose to make them. I've tried to make this as simple and as easy as possible. I'm already seeing a big changes.

I am now up to six sets of leg / butt exercises (each set is 6 exercises, 10 reps each) on the Total Gym, I'm up to 3 sets of upper arms (3 different exercises, 10 reps each) and three sets (1 exercise, 10 reps) of these odd outer thigh and butt toning exercises that really are not very easy at all. In the beginning it was hard to get out 3 sets of the legs and even one complete set of the upper body stuff. All this isn't even counting my daily routine on the Gazelle glider which was difficult to do even 7 minutes at first and now I am up to 20.

The Total Gym is a daily thing - 5 days per week, the Gazelle is at least 3 times a week but I try to do it more like 5.

All in all, I am trying to pay more attention to how my clothes are fitting and how I am looking instead of watching the dreaded @#$%%@#$@ scale. I've lost nearly 4 inches around my waist, alone. Everywhere else ranges from 1 - 3 inches, arms, thighs, hips, chest, etc.

This is well worth continuing on... the results are coming.

Anniversary Weekend and Temptations

My husband and I celebrated our anniversary last weekend. My mom was kind enough to take the kids for the night and we enjoyed a day (and night) all to ourselves.

We also enjoyed a couple of romantic meals... and I did try to be on my very best behavior. But, let's face it, I could have been better. Although, I did opt for sugar-free sweets instead of the usual hefty dessert I would have ordered. I stuck with ice-tea with artificial sweetener... the worst thing I did was allow myself a couple of slices of sourdough bread with a lovely Basque lunch.

But, again, I have to remind myself that I am making lifestyle changes, I'm not just "on a diet."

Still, I've worked out every day this week... my clothes are fitting much better and my arms are beginning to tone up. Now if only the scale would start reacting...

Current Stats:

Down just one pound. Ugh.

Still... that's ten pounds in just a couple of weeks. Can't complain about that, right?